So you have to be careful what you say and when. Below are 8 phrases that socially conscious people don't say, and suggestions for what they might say instead.
1. "I told you so"
Having a bad decision brought back to mind isn't pleasant. But on the other hand, making others feel better isn't always necessary. But you can avoid making them feel worse. You can do this easily by refraining from saying "I told you so".
2. "I understand you"
The way we experience things varies from person to person. Don't feel an obligation to say anything when someone is struggling, regardless of whether you've been through something similar before. People we care about often need comfort and to know they aren't alone, so it can be difficult to do this. Nevertheless, it is enough to listen to them and let them know you care.
3. "Good luck then"
This statement is a blow to the other person's confidence. You don't necessarily need to approve of someone's hopes when they share them with you. But you know… they are still looking for your support.
In this case, it would be great to say "They're lucky to have you." This small change can make a big difference.
4. "It's not my fault"
Bad things happen. In this case, standing by your own actions and taking responsibility for them is absolutely the right thing to do. That shows character.
5. "It's all in your head"
People who are upset or scared almost always have a good reason for it. Stop devaluing it by saying this phrase.
6. "I thought you were smarter than that"
Comments like these not only rub salt into a wound that is still bleeding, but also immediately make people more cautious about relying on themselves in the future. Furthermore, their reaction to this phrase will be 100% negative.
Instead of saying this, you can try to change it with "I'm curious," followed by a less judgmental question - "What did your thought process look like?"
7. "You always" or "You never"
Stop focusing on the problem. Focus on the person. For example, if your friend is phone addicted, instead of saying “You’re always on your phone” you can say: "I'm not sure if you know you do this so often, but when you stare at your phone while I'm talking to you, I don't feel very well”.
8. "Everything happens for a reason"
When something happens to our close ones, we may first try to cheer them up. Don’t do it with this phrase, it is annoying! Just let them lean on you. Support from a friend is one of the best feelings in the world.
When we are tired, it can be a little unnerving to be asked to give our opinion. However, if we must answer anyway, it may be more helpful to assist others than to complicate their lives.
Make sure you use cheery phrases as often as possible in your conversations.
